Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Costume ideas!?

Or you could be a Roman!?

A lion tamer and your bf could be the lion!?

Or if you're rich enough, you could try and lay everybody in the place!?

Or if you're cheap!?

You can dress like Kathy Bates in Fried green tomatoes, or rent a cuddly bunny outfit, dress like a fortune teller, your favorite molecule or decease, a towel boy, Conan the barbarian, one of the Red hot chilly peppers band member, Zorro, a Disco queen, a maid, a butterfly, a pirate or a Clockwork orange wanna be!?

Here is my favorite, The phantom of my dreams!?

Who can tell me who's behind the mask?! And no it's not me, I wish!?

Let me know what you go as!?

Have fun!?


Sunday, October 29, 2006

Houston!? We have a problem!?

I wish you could read my lips right about now. I've been trying to post all week end. This was suppose to be my "thank you" MEME, it sure looks like I'm not that thankful. Well for some reason, blogger didn't work for yours truly. I wonder if the fact that we had to turn back time had anything to do with it. For some reason I was sure that we were going to follow the new time saving method of the Americans. Isn't it this year that November will be the new month for changing time? Blogger kept telling me I had a "java" problem. How can I get a java problem? Nothings changed since Friday. I don't really know anything about java except that I take mine black. If you ask me, I think someone was not working in blogland this week end. How can you not expect problems when we, the human race decide to play with time? Either that or the office Halloween party was awesome. Funny that I didn't change anything, and now I can post. What happened? I sent them an e-mail this afternoon, think they'll reply and tell me what went wrong? I'm sure they wont. I mean this is a free service, so I guess we can't complain. I mean, does this look like someone who has a problem with his java?! I'll post my thank you MEME next week end. Have fun!? J

MY thanking MEME week end!?

I'm following in the footsteps of some bloggers regarding thanking some of our fellow bloggers. With a twist!?

Saturday, October 28, 2006

ZEFRANK, If you guys haven't watched "The Show" yet, please do so. This guy knows how to put a smile on my face every time. He'll probably never read this, but he's a great and funny guy. I hope his blog takes him places. Congrats and good luck SportRacer!? "And that's the show, thinking so you don't have to!?" Have fun!? J

Friday, October 27, 2006

ScreenSavers or DeskTops!?

Hi guys!? I've been having fun with Photoshop!? I made some backgrounds for my screen. Here is where I'll keep them. I Would!? Let me know what you think!? These are pics I received or picked up on the web. I'm in my singles B&W folder. I'll make some couples and color if you like them. Have fun!? J

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The other side!?

What do you do when someone asks you to be someone you're not?! Do you give in and be what they want you to be?! Or do you say no?! How do you know if the pressure itself is not just to get you out of your comfort zone?! When do you say no?! When do you say enough is enough?! Do you just wear a mask and swallow?! What?! I'm looking forward to your feedback!? J

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

You can leave your hat on!?

Everything is pretty quiet here in the woulds. Yesterday was a normal day at work. I spent most of the day in training. Got back to my desk with only two hours before leaving. I went to see my shrink after. I told him how the doc did not know what to do with me. How his statement brought me down. But after thinking about it, it just sorta made me mad and I decided not to let it get to me. Since then I feel better. I decided to stop reading any self-help books for a while. Just think it's time to take a break and just live. After the shrink, I stopped at the Olympic Stadium and signed up for the pool. It's the only place I found with decent hours. At first I wanted to go out last night but then decided to stay in and let my body rest and finish recuperating from last week. I had my usual day off today. I had a list of stuff to do but after waking up at six thirty, reading some blogs and answering e-mails, I went back to bed at nine thirty, remnants of my sleeping pill. I though I was going to sleep for about an hour, but I woke up at twelve. I had lunch and got the new Robbie Williams album from iTune. It's pretty good. The Pet Shop Boys contributed on this album. I started feeling tired around two thirty so I went to bed for a nap. I woke up at five. What a day off. I almost feel like it was wasted, but also I think if I slept, it's because my body needed it. So my list will have to wait. It's not a must do list it's just regular things I wanted to do and also finish. I guess I can do a bit every night for the rest of the week. So that's it for now, told ya it was quiet in the woulds. Just checking in to let you know I'm doing good. Have fun!? J

Monday, October 23, 2006

RIC, this is for you!?

A hell of a couple of months!?

No no don't worry, I'm not going back and cry. I just can't believe everything that's happened to me in the last few months. My life as never been so full, so agitated. You have to remember I comeback from pretty far. I wont go into details here, but just remember my panic and anxiety attacks really took a toll on me. The month of August saw me depressed like I've never been before. I mean I've never been so blue to the point of spending day in and day out in bed. I wasn't even sleeping, I just didn't care. I was told it was to be expected after all I went through. Then I forced myself to go out and meet a blogger friend. It was one of the best day I've spent in a long long time. We didn't do much, just rode our bikes and talked. I guess the outdoors and the company really helped. He might think me nuts but it really was a great day for me. It did start rocky, I was having anxiety attacks while we were having breakfast. I guess I wasn't totally ready to face the world, but with him at my side, it was a piece of cake. Thanks Torn, you know I'll remember that day for a long time. For some reason it did me lots of good. And I'm glad it was with you. After that day, everything was different. I just felt so happy. Everything was great. Everything!? Since then, even when sick I smile. I feel good and my confidence has gone up tremendously. I think the exercise and the pills finally reaching my low point are the reasons I started feeling so good. I also started work again in August. Now that was and is hard. It's the only place I still have anxiety and panic symptoms. I know why. It's where it all started, and also the accumulation of three years of frustration regarding a few employees. After a while it can way a guy down. But I'm getting by. It's getting better every day. About that time I met a long distance friend. He stopped everything to go back to university. It's a personal goal of his. I know he'll make it!?This guy is pretty bright. He started a few programs that got top honors from our governments. Congratulation Mikey!? I felt so great that I decided to get another cat. How many depressed people do you know who will get a pet, something to take care of? To depend on them? I really felt great. I loved NEO. Here is something I haven't told you. I didn't mention anything and I removed my pics and name just as a precaution. I'm not even sure it's safe, but... I met a guy and saw him two nights in a row. He was a con artist and took 60$ from me. I told him that I couldn't see him, it seems to have done the trick. Even the night he was suppose to reimburse me he said he had to cancel dinner and asked for money. For some reason after the second time I met him, his stories had changed, I went on the web and found articles with his name. He robbed so many people, even companies. So on the third day of knowing him I went to the police and told them that if they were looking for him, this is where he is and here's his phone number. No need to tell you my anxiety was hitting me pretty hard. But I've not yet heard from him and I don't want too. Also in September I grew a year older. It was the quietest and best birthday day in a long time. I physically turned 38 but I think mentally I've moved from my teen years to somewhere in my twenties. Then in October, we all know what happened. My cat broke. Enough said!? Just then I met another fellow blogger, Foxy. He's a cool guy. He would like to be a writer. I love the way he writes, and his poems are pretty amazing. He's the one that made me the "wolf picture" and made me an honorary wolf by calling me Dreaming Dawg. He and Torn are the only two people that saw the shyness in me. Torn I can understand, he met me. But Foxy got it just from reading me. He's also a panic and anxiety brother. Us scardy cats gotta stick together. lol Last Saturday marked my fourth month of blogging. I'm amazed at how much I've learned and how many people I've gotten to know. The internet is pretty amazing. Also in the last few months, I met more guys then ever before in my life. And all but one were great experiences. Not bad. I think I'm turning into the slut I should have been in my twenties. hehehe So all in all it was an amazing two months. Lots of action, sex, tears, more sickness. Just about everything happened in the last months. I would like to thank everyone for their support. Your words and presence mean a lot to me. Thank you!? Have fun!? Joël

Sunday, October 22, 2006

This is dedicated to those Born before 1979!

This is an e-mail I got from a friend!? To all the kids who survived the 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because . WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound, CD's or Ipods, no cell phones!, no personal computers , no Internet or chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Have fun!? J

Sunday Songs!?

Poor is the man who's pleasures depend on the permission of another!? Human nature!?
Don't Tell Me
What It Feels Like...
I'm not happy this way!?
Hazy Shade of Winter

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Inner child!?

We all have one. Why? Is it really a part of us that didn't grow up? Is it the base of who we are? If so why call it the inner child? Why not call it the base? Some people have a strong base. Some don't. Why does it affect us so much? The base is not the only thing making us who we are. I know, you can build the best house in the world, if it stands on a bad foundation, it will sway. Some houses can take the sway, some can't. Some will crack. Some will even crumble. So let's say the base is the start of everything else. Does that mean that everything that came after is not good? It is affected by the bad base! Does it mean it's not real? It's all a lie? I don't think so. I hope not. I think you can fix a foundation and patch the cracks. But how do you fix the foundation? Do you listen to that inner child or not? Some say you do and make him see the error of his ways. Some say to ignore him. Who's right? If you ignore the problem, wont it comeback even if you patch it up the way you think it should be fixed? Isn't it like burying someone alive? You stop the screams and hope he dies and not claw his way back. If you listen, how can you make him understand that his way of thinking is wrong? I mean in the end, you have to convince yourself that what you're doing is wrong. And I can understand that. But how do you make yourself understand? I can see the right way. I see the best way. So why am I still anxious? How can I make myself SEE? Understand? Why if I know now, I can't seem to make myself accept it? Also something that bugs me is that it's my base, it's me! So why talk about myself or the base at the third person? It's easier to deal with? I've tried a lot of things, I see a shrink, I've read many books. Some pro some con listening to the inner child. How can you understand anything? Well I've decided to take from each what I though was best for me. I feel I'm still at the starting line. I think I'll listen to "myself" for a while and forget that who ever is making me feel this way is not me. Cause it is me. Maybe this way I'll understand better and quicker. I'd like to know what you think. As far as I can see I still need help. My doctor was desperate tonight. He says he doesn't know what to do with me anymore. I did do well for a while. But I seem to be moving backwards now. His advice tonight, "kick yourself in the butt man." If that doesn't work, I'm going back to the psychiatrist.

To my inner child!? La la la la la la la la la I feel like you know me I know well I know I know you do I've got this thing going on Inside my head I've got this thing for you I like your face I like your body Like your feet I like your nose I like your chest beneath the covers Like your heart I like your soul I like your life inside me pounding like a heart inside a dream Inside a dreamer that's been dreaming of a perfect symphony I like the way you walk beside me like a paper in the wind The way you swing your arms so gladly Where you end and I begin I like everything About you Baby I do I feel like you know me well I've tried to let you see me for yourself I feel like I'm out of my head I've got this thing for you I like your face I like your body Like your feet I like your nose I like your chest beneath the covers Like your heart I like your soul I like your life inside me pounding like a heart inside a dream Inside a dreamer that's been dreaming of a perfect symphony I like the way you walk beside me like a paper in the wind The way you swing your arms so gladly Where you end and I begin I like everything About you Baby I do La la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la I like your face I like your body Like your feet I like your nose I like your chest beneath the covers Like your heart I like your soul I like your life inside me pounding like a heart inside a dream Inside a dreamer that's been dreaming of a perfect symphony I like the way you walk beside me like a paper in the wind The way you swing your arms so gladly Where you end and I begin I like everything About you Baby I do La la la la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la la la
Have fun!? With your inner or outer child!? J

Takin' it nice & easy!?


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Dreaming Dawg!?

I was named an honorary Howler and this was created for me with pictures I sent the Leader of the Pack. This Foxy dude is a pretty good writer. He also creates good poetry. Check him out. Have fun!? J

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

How cute is that?!

Chums!? Pascal made this little vid of his and my baby having a tender moment!?

Another long night!?

But not as fun as last Saturday. I felt weak all day yesterday, I had the shakes. I sometimes felt light headed. I was sure I was fighting off signs of anxiety. I took a cab to go see my shrink. The driver seemed to really have me spit my heart out. I had my heart in my throat all night. When I got home at 7:30 last night, I went to bed right away. I woke up about 9 and my guts decided to clean house. So much so that I ended up on the floor. Pascal called an ambulance. They took me in. From 9:30 to 2:30 I sat waiting in an emergency room. With in 5 minutes I knew I had a major flu, a "gastro". To take gravol, rest for the next 3 days. So by 3 I was finally home in my bed. I'm ok, just weak and tired. And always thirsty. J

Monday, October 16, 2006

Meeting Jesse James!?

Just Like Jesse James My week end started on a weird note. I got home on Friday feeling tired and sick to my stomach. I was sure I was going to fall into bed and sleep for a few hours. That didn't happened. I tried. But after twisting and turning, I got up. I even tried drinking a few beers to help. It didn't. I went out and found the best teddy bear for Pascal's nephew. But that's another post. After eating, I went to bed, it was about nine, I was sure I was going to take a nap and wake up and then go out. Yeah right. I woke up at three am. I went back to bed and slept till five. Saturday was a normal day, errands, blogging, e-mails. I went shopping for plants. I always over do it when it comes to plants. I think I came home with a dozen of them. I had dinner and took a nap. I blogged some more then showered and shaved. I went to Stud's, I don't know if you remember, it's the bar where you can let your hair down and no one cares. No snotty queens to stare down at you. I had a great time dancing. I went to the baths, hoping to make it an early night. But nothing grabbed my attention. I only saw two hotties, and of course they ended up together. I left after about an hour. I was ready to go home when I walked by Campus, a strip club, I decided to have one last beer. I ended up closing the place. I met a dancer I hadn't seen in about 5 years. He used to dance in a club next to my work. He's the only guy I ever made dance for me. I met another dancer who's a trainer during the day. Then I met Jesse. He danced on stage, then came to join us. They kept coming and going, to try and make money. They never asked if I wanted a dance. We just chatted for a good hour. When the place closed, Jesse asked if I was hungry. So we went out to eat. He even offered to pay for me. Funny, a dancer paying. That's when I figured we weren't trick and john. He asked me if I was interested and if I had a place to go. We ended up at a hotel. We jumped in the tub, started the jets and just relaxed. I felt like I was with a friend, or on a date. I asked him why he didn't try to find someone to make money, he said he wasn't looking for a john. He just wanted to have fun. We ended up talking and massaging each others legs for half an hour. He was in jail, did drugs, I think he still does, but he says he's clean. He just moved from out of town and hopes to be able to make enough money to start his own landscaping company next spring. We went to bed, made out, amongst other things. I left around 9. I couldn't find a pic of him on the site, he only started this week. This is the closest pic I could find that resembled him the most. For some reason, I think I made a few friends last Saturday without having to shed any cash in a money infested world. I felt like our corner was their pit stop, a place they could take a break from the fake for a few minutes before going back to the jungle of flesh. You never know when you'll be at the right place at the right time.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Sunday Song!?

I Want Love
I want love, but it's impossible A man like me, so irresponsible A man like me is dead in places Other men feel liberated I can't love, shot full of holes Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold Don't feel nothing, just old scars Toughening up around my heart But I want love, just a different kind I want love, won't break me down Won't brick me up, won't fence me in I want a love, that don't mean a thing That's the love I want, I want love I want love on my own terms After everything I've ever learned Me, I carry too much baggage Oh man I've seen so much traffic So bring it on, I've been bruised Don't give me love that's clean and smooth I'm ready for the rougher stuff No sweet romance, I've had enough


Holding Out For A Hero Remember him?!