How many ways can you say I love you?!

As some of you may remember, I started this blog as a journal to try to clear my head!? To try and grow. Get to know myself better and also in the hopes of helping others and make friends. Well parts of it are working!? I find the more I write, the more I get to know myself!? I think my past as helped others, like theirs helped me. I did make new friends from all over. There is one aspect of this blog that unfortunately doesn't seem to move ahead!? I still feel young, very young. I did not expect things to change over night, but I was hoping that the kid in me would have grown a few years. But I don't think it's the case!? See, through all the people that I have met on blogger, I've met some with whom once you've electronically stroked their supposedly big ego, they roll over and fall asleep. You barely hear from them after. Just like a one night that you run into at the bars. Either you just nod a hello, or hope the other didn't see you. As you can see some parts of me aren't that naïve!? There are those where you get to know a bit more. Those, you talk a bit, some personal information is exchanged. You feel like these are friends and then the talk always turns a bit raunchy, but you still keep in touch and the raunch keeps going. It's like a f**k buddy that you can talk too after sex!? And you know that you will keep on seeing this guy until one of you meets Mr. Right!? Then you'll still be friends, but won't sleep together. Then you have your more serious kind of friends. The kind that you can tell them anything and everything and they will always be there. You get so comfortable with these people that phone numbers are exchanged, addresses and you even get to meet some of them. Well this is where my naïve me has problems. Even if right now I'm talking about the blog, it's the same thing in real life!? I always stick my foot in it!? If you remember, when I was younger I had people of my own age in my life that used to call me names. So in a way I can't really call them friends. At school it was the same thing. At home, my mother was an alcoholic and my dad was in his rocking chair. So without any real outlet I just did what I knew to do. I turned inward and just lived by myself for myself. My friends were my pets. Pathetic, I know!? So when that kid was asked to grow up and take adult responsibilities, he did what he had to do. Now since life is more favorable. Since it's more comfortable, that kid knows it can now come out and play. At least that's what he wants to do. He wants to claim what he never got. What he feels life as stolen from him!? I don't know if you believe this psychology, the inner child, the way you were treated as a child affects how you live your life!? I do!? I'm living proof!? That kid in me is looking for friends, family, brothers and sisters, love and affection. I know it's hard to believe that a grown man would act like a child when it comes to this, but it's true, it's me!? I've felt so alone for so long, that now I'm looking for love, all kinds of love. So when I meet people with whom I'm really comfortable with, I get this sense of security from them and I just fall for them. Not fall as "in love". I do and want to love them. But each, to me ends up with a different role. I don't know if this makes sense, but in my head it does. That kid is looking for acceptance!? Warmth!? Compassion!? If you knew how many people I have scared away by telling them I love them. Even if I tried to explain to them how I meant it, I just never saw them again. Either they think I'm lying and think I'm really in love with them. Or they sorta believe it and take me for a basket case!? It's been 4 hours since I wrote this. I just came from my therapist. I told him about my week and about my blog. Especially this post. He disagrees with me. It wouldn't be the first time. He finds me unbelievably mature. He tells me it's because I know so much what I want and need, that it scares people cause a lot of the time, they need the same but don't know it. So he says I'm not naïve, just too simple for the people I meet. To me, it's black or white, simple. But to a lot of people, it's not!? You know, I think I've just grown!? God was it worth 85$!? So tell me readers and friends, do you sometimes feel the same way?! do you think I'm a basket case?! do you love me or...?! Waiting for your answers!? J, a bit more mature!? PS: I love you!? LOL