The waiting game!?

All there is to do for me now is lay back, relax and wait for the call. I feel much better than yesterday, thank you guys for being there. I want to apologize for some of the language that was used yesterday. I don't usually write like that. So I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't offend anyone. If neither of the doctors bring up my missing the first appointment, which I doubt I've heard the last of, should I bring it up? And also how I felt mistreated and just pushed to the side? Little weather update. It's still white outside, about two or three inches of snow. But yes it's cold enough for these today guys. It's only minus ten but with the wind... I've been reading my old posts in the sections, Walking in my shoes & World in my eyes, and I'm wondering how come I don't write like that anymore? All I've been writing about is this thing using all of my energy. It's part of me. And right now I feel it's controlling me. But I don't think it's all of me. Why can't I concentrate long enough to read? Why can't I feel passionate enough to write about something other than this? I'm part of GMR and IRM and right now, I don't feel like posting any of what I'm writing because it's too personal. Always the same. Even though here it's my blog, my journal, I'm also tired to write only about that. You guys have any suggestions to inspire me? Have fun!? J