New day!?

Good morning!? Good afternoon!? And in case I don't see you, have a good night!? I'm feeling really good this morning!? I woke up thinking how good being sick was for me. I'm serious!? Yes I'm doing a little follow up on yesterday's post, but I'm glad it keeps affecting me!? The first thing that came to mind this morning was how this sick leave was really what I needed. What I had wanted for a long time!? I've wanted to take a break for a while now. Well I did. The fact that I was sick might not have been my first choice of vacation, but I'll get back to that later. So I've wanted/needed a break, I got it!? I wanted time to myself, I got it!? I really needed time to rest, I got that!? I needed time to clear my head, it's clearer!? I wanted to make new friends, I made some!? So the sickness made me slow down. It also gave me peace and rest. It made me do the things I've always said I wanted to do, ok it forced me!? I needed to slow down for a long time. I've wanted to take better care of myself, well I'm now eating better. I'm also eating breakfast now. I've wanted to exercise, well it made me buy the bike I've wanted for so long. And I use it practically every day. Ok, lets not count the 3 week depression. But I'll get back to that. It allowed me to read blogs and to start my own. This is really good for me. I've learned so much from myself and from you guys. I really feel like I'm growing, I'm maturing. I was always asking myself how I would nurture my inner child, well you guys have been a great help. Thank you to each and everyone of you!? It allowed me and Pascal to talk some. And now our friendship is better for it. It gave me time to take a few pictures, and now some of them are and will be printed to hang around the house. It actually gave me back my creativity!? It showed me I am not alone. Even if when I was depressed, I felt like it. In the end, I'm glad I wasn't. It allowed me to come to peace with some of the big decisions I made, I'll have to finish part 2 of Do And Die!? It made me drink, and do careless things. I said careless, not dangerous. From that I see that it's not the answer. It's not the way. Sometimes the best way to learn is just to live it yourself, well I did. And I'm better for it!? It also made me understand, it's not what you want that matters the most, it's what you have. I'm very happy and glad of what I have. It gave me back a taste for living again. Not that I wanted to quit, but I had stopped. It opened my eyes!? It showed me that there is still good in this world. We just have to know where to look. It's all around us. In the people that just walk by to the spectacular scenery that nature, even if it's hurting, still gives us. I've been up for three hours now and I'm still smiling. Even thinking about the bad moments. My panic attacks. My anxiety from the last two weeks. The bike ride me and Torn took. The places that an American showed me, in my own city!? I had to laugh at that one. So many things have changed since March, it's almost a make over. My hand writing changed. My expressing myself changed. Does that mean I'm less direct?! No?! But maybe nicer in the way that I speak my mind!? I've been writing like never before. I've been reading like never before. I'm less afraid of so many things, I'm really less stressed. Does this mean I'm cured, no!? But I really think I'm on my way!? And I'll accept what ever happens. I'll evaluate it and take what I need from it!? So I got all that and got paid too!? Boy I love Christmas!? I'm sure the people that really know me will either say "it's about time, or did you fall on your head? Were you abducted by aliens? Ok, where's the real Joel?" I guess the vale just lifted. I can see clearly now!? So smile!? Be happy!? Have fun!? J PS Since this morning, I'm as good looking as this guy!? If not better!? Now if I can just find a way to take him home!? lol