Thursday, August 24, 2006

Hey ya!?

"Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid Picture, shake it, shake it" - OutKast Yes guys if I had taken pictures today they would have looked like that!? I hardly slept last night. Woke up feeling heavy. Had breakfast, did everything and then left on my bike. I was zoning out on my bike. I got to work and started feeling weak. I had to sit for about 10 minutes once I got inside because I was having symptoms of anxiety. I went up to my desk. It took me about half an hour to be able to get back up and change into my work clothes. When I came back, I still had a bit of panic, and the shakes. I couldn't write. I couldn't even read my screen. At 10 I told my boss I was going home. I couldn't do anything. I tried to calm myself down, it did work to a degree, but the shakes were really bad. I put my bike into a cab and left. I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I had lunch and then went back to bed. I finally fell asleep around 12:30. I slept till 3. I woke up feeling like I had a cold. I think my throat infection is finally moving out. Remember my visit to Dr Ping Pong? Well it's the same infection. My Dr on Monday gave me another kind of antibiotics and they seem to work. Was I just week because of my infection?! Was my reaction mixed and I'm just suffering from a cold. Or was a second day too fast?! My boss thinks I'm not ready!? Pascal doesn't think so either!? I got feedback from people at work saying that I looked good on Tuesday, but that today I looked green!? I'm seeing my shrink tomorrow, I'll discuss it with him, but I'd like to give it another try. My next day should be Wednesday!? I'll see what he thinks. Because for sure I'll have good and bad days, and it will only get better if I avoid rewarding my mind by not going or leaving. As I'm writing this, the shaking is starting again. So get up and "shake it like a polaroid picture!?" Outkast - Hey Ya Or maybe I could prepare you a drink?! Martini anyone?! lol Have fun!? J

5 Comments:

Blogger Mikey said...

Get some rest...drop everything and have some me time. A green Apple Martini for me

8/24/2006 09:34:00 p.m.  
Blogger ..:: YNAGER ' 65 ::.. said...

awww damn Joel...take it easy and of course you know I second the martini!!!

8/24/2006 10:57:00 p.m.  
Blogger RIC said...

Tomorrow you can calmly go through what happened today. Meanwhile rest as much as you can. Even if you don't get to sleep, try to rest. If you have to, think of nice landscapes you would like to photograph... It may help.
I'm with you. :-)

8/24/2006 11:21:00 p.m.  
Blogger Gray said...

Martinis? James Bond would love you right now! ;) [kidding, of course]

On the serious side, anxiety attacks turn me into a basket case as well!! For those who have never had one, give thanks!!

I hope the shrink helps, Joel. Just remember that you've been off work for quite some time. Just ease into it; you know your boss will be understanding! My thoughts are with you! Relax and you'll make it through. You know you will (as do we).

8/25/2006 04:36:00 a.m.  
Blogger Lemuel said...

one day at a time, j, one day at a time. HUGS! Just focus on living today and on all the love that surrounds you!

8/25/2006 08:21:00 a.m.  

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