Last call !?
Last night I was trying to understand why people drink so much.
In January I fell down a flight of stairs, on my back. I broke 2 frames, a chair and 2 plants. And I spilled my coffee every where on the carpet. My back and knee were still hurting after a week.
I read a lot of blogs that talk about drinking. A lot of drinking.
My doctor asked me earlier this year and I told him it was to make me "zone out". Then I told him I was drinking because I wasn't feeling like myself, I wanted to forget. Help me sleep.
The psychiatrist told me that even if the beer makes you sleepy, at first, in the end it causes insomnia, fitful sleep. So even if it looks like it, it's not the answer.
Most of the time people drink because it's the "legal drug" that will give you a buzz. But it also quickly becomes a crutch.
On Tuesday I made a deal with my shrink to bring down my drinking from an average of 6 a day to 1.
On Tuesday, I drank 3. I asked myself why. And the answer was, he really made me think. And things that were buried down deep started moving.
Then on Wednesday, even if I was in a reflection mood all day, I only drank 2.
Thursday was a normal day for me and again I only drank 2.
Friday came. I was meeting with the anxiety specialist at 2:30. Well I drank 2 beers before going. And I think 5 when I came back. Anxiety and fear of what is coming out.
On Saturday I drank 2 1/2 beers.
Yesterday I wanted to just have 2 beers and that would be that. The program doesn't include beer.
(After the first week you can work it in, but you still have to watch yourself.)
I don't know if its because my mind was made up to not drink this week, but the beers were heavy.
I started feeling warm. I was sweating. It did not make me feel relaxed at all. Was I seeing beer for what it was? Does this mean I understand that drinking will not help me?
I have to stop pretending, stop using the crutch.
I have to stop giving it powers that I want it to have. It doesn't!?
Beer is good. But the real meaning of beer is a drink. A beverage.
It is not the answer to anything.
It's only liquid that can give you a buzz.
It can even make you forget who you are and where you are.
I'm sure some of you lived this or know some one that doesn't remember parts of the evening before.
It also stays in and takes up shop in the abdominal area.
Do we like that? I'm sure not.
So why do we drink so much?
Lets hear it!?
Lets face it!?
A sobering up J!?
A still fun J!?
An anxious J!?
A real J!?
Me!?
J!?
Roll call: I'm starting the program at 193 lbs.
posted by Jack at 7/10/2006 09:50:00 a.m.
12 Comments:
Hi there. Cool blog, I just found it. When I find a new blog, I always start reading from the first posts. Wow, you have such a peaceful yet surprising way to write! I like it a lot.
Following your example, I took a few personality tests, those blogthings, and guess what? The results came out like yours, I thought that was funny.
Btw, I'm not that much into drinking, for me it's just a thing I do with friends, and I could totally live without it.
Love your insight and the new look to the blog.
Keep on trucking...
I drink to get drunk. I can just as easily go out with friends and only imbibe soda or water. But if I want to let loose and not care, I'll get drunk. It relaxes your inhibitions ...
I don't think I actually drink to forget -- because sometimes getting drunk can enhance your BAD mood more than the good one you are hoping for, in which case you have less fun than being sober.
Maybe not forget, but postpone ...
I think your questioning yourself about alcohol is a good thing. It oddly enough is a depressant too, so if you suffer from anxiety and depression, its best to stay away from it. Good luck on your journey.
Thanx for stopping by my site!
I was drinking more than usual perhaps about a year or two ago, but as of late, I'm not handling alcohol too well. It makes my tummy feel like crap the next day.
Which is prob a good thing, because it's not the answer. Yeah, the buzz is great and all at the moment, and makes the anxiety go away...but it's all so temporary and leaves ya feeling empty when it wears off.
By the way, I'm sorry for your plight, I'm not agoraphobic, but can get a panic attack here and there when I least expect it, so I have to be very careful and aware.
Fight it all you can my friend. Be strong. Don't confine yourself. Take baby steps and face the world.
Exercise, visiting nature, and confronting it, will make ya heal faster.
God Bless!
you know I think all my back problems come from a fall down a flight of stairs when I was in my early 20's. And yes I was drinking. I'm not much of a drinker now. Every now and then at a party or something. I'm starting to finally feel better, even if I have had a pain pill. I can actually sit down at the computer and feel pretty good. I know it will be soon.
I have spent a lifetime asking people why they drink but never received a fully understood explanation.It was the tales of their doings while intoxicated that brought me nearest to comprehending our need for booze.
It seemed to give a few hours of freedom from rules which, during the rest of the time, they reluctantly obeyed.
If this is valid, then an alternatie to drunkeness (though hardly approved by the White House) would be never to conform at all.
I'm glad you've recognized it for what it might be for you.
The fact that you are gaining control of your life makes me so proud of you.
Funny thing coming across your blog at this point in my life. I just turned 35 a couple of weeks ago, and I have been thinking about this very topic since the birthday festivities. I realized I blame everything else for my drinking binges...whether it be work, home life, family, firends, drama, whatever. Then it hit me, I drink as a form of escape. It is instant gratification and I all of a sudden forget all of my 'troubling' issues, at least while the high is active. When coming down from that drunken high, all of the problems still exist, and in some case have become worse from the drinking binge. I am actively working on decreasing my drinking as well. Maybe, even though we do not know each other at all, we can lean on each other occasionally.
Joel,
Congrats on limiting the drinking and trying to follow it through. I was moved by this post. It's just amazing.
You can talk to just about anyone who knows me and they will tell you I'm the guy with a glass of water in my hands, no matter where I am. I do drink and it's such a rare occurance people either do a double take, ask me if I'm okay, or make some other snide comment when they notice a drink other than water in my hand. I like wine, I like mixed drinks, and I love me some Spiced Captain Morgans and Coke, but water is my drink of choice for whatever reason.
So I applaud you for you realizing alcohol for what it is (not preaching here, really) and doing something about the way you feel about it.
I drink because of depression, anxiety, to kill physical pain (I *hate* pain pills - I can't control my reaction to them like I can booze), and I drink to escape. Since 1999, things have occurred in my life that has caused me to drink more and more. *I don't like it!* I've been talking to my doctor(s) about it.
Your post moved me, Joel, and got me thinking more intently about cutting way back - quitting if I have to. Thanks for the inspiration.
I spent nearly 10 years in the Royal Navy and drinking is totally encouraged. I've been drinking too much for way too long.
Recently I developed kidney problems and ended up in hospital. I've not had a drink since then and rather than being boring and dull when I'm sober during the evenings I find I'm just as much part of the action as ever. My fears of not enjoying myself didn't become reality.
I now enjoy waking up feeling refreshed, rather then trying to disguise the hangover before going to work.
Keep at it!
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