Weight just a god damn minute!?

Who among us never had a weight problem?! I'm not talking about this guy. I'm talking about being comfortable in our own body. When I was younger, the wind could blow me away. I was a nail with wings. A cute nail none the less. At the age of 9 every thing changed. In a matter of months I was dressing in the men's department at Sears. I remember wanting to go on the left side when we came in. All the cartoon T-shirts were there. But no. We had to go right, the men's department was there. I graduated from high school, at 16, I was 244 lbs. I'm 5'8 3/4". My pants were 38". At 18 when my mom divorced my dad, I dropped to 180 lbs. Life came back to normal in the house. He was such negative energy. People tell me I was eating my emotions. I wasn't. Maybe I wasn't eating healthy, but I was not over eating. After that, I yoyoed from 180 to 200. My secret was weighing heavy on me. When I came out to one and all, I dropped to 159. I knew that the next 10 lbs was telling my father I was gay. You see, my mom was dead by then. He was the last person I still considered my family, my parent. When I told him, I did go down. I was at 148. My waist size was 28 - 29 depending on the model. My BF at the time hated me for it. lol I could buy shirts and Ts at Gap for kids. Then our way of living and I guess the fact that to me, we were it. Living happily ever after. I started putting on some weight. Drinking like we were, 2 or 3 beers a day and about 10 plus some shooters when we were going out. Once or twice a week. Then I started feeling things were going wrong. I gained more weight. When I left him, I was 160 lbs. Then last December, I asked my doctor for some patches to quit smoking. I gained about 15 lbs. Now with my situation and the beer I told you I had started drinking because I don't feel like myself anymore, I weighted myself this morning, 190 lbs. Well I've had it. I'm me, and will find me again. Since I have to cut down on drinking, I'll also change my eating habits. I don't mind love handles, but when 6 people can gather around me, to hold themselves on the bus because there are no more seats, that is where I draw the line. So it is that this Monday, I'll start my 8 minutes in the morning program again. 2 years ago with this program, I lost 7 lbs in the first week. I know! I know! 7 lbs in 1 week is a lot. But you really are watching your portions, and eating really healthy in order to break down your systems habit. And on top of that, it has to eat away at the fat stored inside. Because you are almost not eating any fat. Then, I lost 2 lbs per week for the next 4 weeks. Then summer turned the corner, happy hours on terraces and beer started again. I kept the weight off almost all summer. But started putting it back in the winter. So this Monday I'll start again and this time will do my best to keep it up. I'll be joining Kell in his fight to lose weight. Like him, I'll post my results and let you know how it's going. I will be honest and say exactly what's going on. Why would I lie, I'm only lying to myself. And besides the roommate will be there to check me, he also reads my blog every day. So if you would like to do this with me, you are welcome. I'll post the info the day before. What to eat, what to do regarding exercises. Keep me posted. Lets have fun!? Still J!? Soon smaller j!? PS: I've also shaved my beard. That way I'll see the real me every day.