So close but yet...!?

As much as Wednesday was, I think, THE most serine day of my life. Yesterday was another story. I woke up with a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Right away I started breathing in deeply. After a while the feeling grew into sweats and than shakes. I tried to keep myself calm and did my regular morning routine. When it came time to leave, I was sweating even more. I had to stop half way to the subway. I couldn't feel my feet and my knees were weak. The walk to the subway usually takes me less than five minutes, this time it took me half an hour. When I got to the subway station, it got worst. I turned around to go to the bank and take a cab. I felt calmer. Once I got close to the bank, it started again. I got my money and went home, called in sick and went to bed. Those feelings stayed with me all day. Even when I went to see my shrink, I spent forty minutes sweating and calming myself down. I was still nervous in his office. I didn't want to be there. I usually love our sessions. But last night, I just didn't want to be there. For some reason, he got me to calm down and feel better. The last ten minutes of our session were almost ok. Once at home, I almost felt normal. The only thing I noticed was that I was agitated. Conclusion: Him and my boss both agree that I was not ready to go back to work. He thinks my "crutch", the meds, either they're not strong enough for me or not the right ones. I'm going to see my doctor next Monday to make another appointment with a psychiatrist to revise the meds. I'm off work again. Have fun!? J