Reflections!?

I had an appointment to see my doctor this morning. Every time I go see a doctor, I always make a list of things I would like to talk about, things that have improved, things that have or haven't changed. Things I'd like to start working on, etc... I told him everything I told you guys in my Handle on life post. He was concerned only about two things, number one: was I over doing some things, like obsessed. I told him no, the only thing I might have gone over board on were frames that were on special at the photo store. But I will be taking and printing more pictures, either to give or hang in the apartment, so... He said that was fine. He was happy when I told him about NEO, the new clothes, even if I still find myself bigger then I should be. The other thing is my throat, he's concerned because it's still hurting sometimes. So he's sending me to a specialist. I'm not going to take a higher dose of medication. We both decided that what ever little symptoms I have I will deal with them and they will go away. He did suggest Omega 3's when I asked him about taking a supplement of vitamin B12. I told him about what I would like to undertake, swimming, yoga, more cycling and home weight training. He told me to go for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with more exercise. I didn't ask him about going back to school. He told one of my friends who is taking a really smaller dose than me, not to go back to school until next year, and not more then one course per semester.So I can just imagine what he'd have said to me. Besides, I'm still not sure what to do. At work they will pay my studies if I go into administration. I don't want that. I would like to go into horticulture or photography. But work won't pay for arts or nature studies. And since I'm still debating, I'm not doing anything about it. So it's back to thinking about what I want to do with my life. Yes there is the homeless project, but it still scares me. I even told him about my being more confidant and going out and meeting people. I told him I was excited, but a part of me wasn't. He laughed. Not in a mean way. He said, with all that medication, you probably have more wet noodles then wood. I had to laugh too. At least he understood. So he prescribed something to help me. I can't wait to try it out. So when it came time for me to leave, he said see you in three months, keep up the good work and now with those nice erections you should be even happier. How can you not laugh at that. I'm sure I'll be. And the other guy will too. I really didn't think it would take me here when all this started last March. So I'm well on my way on the road to recovery. Mind if I hitch a ride?! J ed's note: It took me all day to write this post. I really don't feel the need too anymore. I was really using this as an outlet to better understand myself. Not to say that I know me perfectly, but I guess it was more a tool to let my doubts and worries out. I don't think I'll stop blogging, but I will probably slow down some. If I look at my past, I used to write when I was blue, then there would be a period of no writing at all and then I'd pick up where I left off. So unless I use this blog for another outlet, it will be quiet here for a while!? I'll keep you posted on my decision!?